Putting one foot in front of the other.

Today has been a really rough day. Really rough. Sometimes I feel like I am in a daze. I am so thankful to have beautiful friends in my life that know when I need them and also know when I just need to be on my own. That kind of intuition is not a gift most people are given.

Tonight I am also grateful for my number 1 companion, Monster. I think without him I would be totally lost. I finally turned the heat on (barely), and I am still freezing my tail off, but we are snugged up together on the couch and that makes tonight bearable.

I still can't believe he was ever that tiny.

That's all for now. Off to find out which feeling will win out tonight, cold or hunger. My money (if I had any to spare) is on hunger.

My days here are numbered.

Two months since I have posted and I feel like my life has changed so much. I think that is something I need to get use to, change. Over the past couple weeks I have really been trying to decide what I want right now. I wish I could be one of those people that just picks up and goes and worries about where they are going and what they are going to do once they get there, but that is definitely not me. I am a planner. I literally love plans. If I could I would marry them (just kidding, kind of :)). So here is the newest plan. Move to London. To tell you the truth I would be happy just to move anywhere out of this country. I chose London because there are so many amazing places that are more accessible from there. A weekend trip to Rome? Yes, please. A train ride to Scotland? Twist my arm. But as I said, I am not a get up and go kind of girl. I am a checklist lady. So here it is. My London Checklist. Check

back because over time I am sure things will be completed and things will be added.

Things to do before London:

Finish my Bachelor’s Degree (for obvious reasons)

Pay off the 4Runner (again obvi)

Save $5,000 (London is NOT cheap)

Learn to use every function on my sewing machine

Learn to crochet and knit

Learn the basics of a foreign language (French, Spanish, or Portuguese) (Rosetta Stone, anyone?)

Get a Yellow Rose of Texas tattoo. ( I love Texas. This is my home and I want to remember that, no matter where I go.)

Learn how to bartend (I want to work in a Pub)

That's it for now.

What else have a been doing the past two months? Let's see...

Another precious baby girl came into my life, Abby Kate Hyman.

I am so proud of my YayaNina. She is such a great mother and friend. I love watching this little family grow and I am so excited about their future.

Mom, Amanda and Piper came to see me. I love this little chubbins.

We made Halloween Puppykins! Monster on the left and

Oli (unfinished) on the right

I was Kelly Kapowski For Halloween.

And Billy the 4Runner kicked the bucket. It was a very sad day in the Kilgore household but we all knew it was coming sooner or later. The good news is that I bought a new and improved (still nameless) 4Runner!

Welp, that's all I've got for now. Bigger and brighter things to come, stay tuned.

-krk

=

After THREE YEARS I have a laptop that is mine and that really works (with a full screen and no viruses!). Man, oh man. It feels pretty awesome. It feels even more awesome that I BOUGHT IT. Living in a world where a majority of the people I see are handed everything on a silver platter I have felt very discouraged lately. I work full time and have yet to really feel like I am making any head way. This is my first major milestone since getting my new job and it feels really, really awesome. Really, really, really awesome.New computer=more blogs!

Lucky you, out in bloggerland :)

On a completely different note, some very good friends of ours are about lose a key member of there family. Dakota, their 13 year old pup, looks like he is on his last leg. I remember going through this a little while back with our family's border collie, Rocky. Rock was the sweetest. He is the dog that I tried (and am still trying ;)) to model Monster af

ter. Awesome family dog, great listener, super smart. Dakota (Koda or CoCo) is the same way. He is such a chill dog and it's really rough to see an animal that was once so lively to struggle to get around. It's something you can only understand if you have a dog and especially if you've lost one. At 13 years old the Jones family is letting nature take its course and trying to make Koda as comfortable as possible and surround him with the family he has loved and been so loyal to. I think its such a beautiful thing and it makes me grateful to have two amazing pups in my life. I am going to try to remember this feeling whenever Monster or Oliver do something stupid, like get in to the trash (Monster) or spontaneously throw up from excitement (Oliver) or Dutch Oven us in bed (Oliver again). They are such amazing little guys and I am grateful to have them to come home to.

September 1st feels like it was just yesterday but we are already getting bills, guess that's just something to get use to as we grow up. Kinda stinks. Summer is coming to an end and there are mixed emotions about that in this house. Bran's a winter and I'm a summer, but we are both excited to see what this Fall holds for us.

-KayRae

Oh P.S. I have BLACK HAIR. Apparently in Garnier Fructis land "Dark Brown" is really "CHELLO BLACK HAIR". I'm dealing with it, though. I wish tanning didn't give you skin cancer, I am kind of resembling Wednesday Adams at the moment. Spray tan here I come!

Mini post.

PiperJae and I havin a blast.

Goal in life, get to Norman so I can spend more time with this sweet sweet sugars

I am going to put the disclaimer out there that although this is my first post about Harry Potter, it will most certainly NOT be my last. You have all been warned.

I originally started this blog with the intent to reread each of the seven Harry Potter novels and then reflect on them. Yes, I said reread. I have followed Harry’s story from the very beginning, reading the books as they came out as quickly as possible, laughing, crying, eagerly turning each page, and then when I was finished I would read it again. The first time I read each Harry Potter book (especially as I progressed further through the series) I couldn’t seem to turn the page fast enough. Constantly torn between the love of the writing and wanting to take in each and every detail given, and the NEED (not want) to know what would happen next. I would finish a book in less than 24 hours (with the help of my yayas* and LOTS of coffee, sodas, and snacks) and then maybe a day later I would lay down before I went to bed and read a little of the book every night, stretching it out for as long as I could manage, because the second time I would REALLY read it. I took in everything and thought about how they worked in relation to the past and the future and question what something might mean or whose side someone might be on.

Before Harry Potter I had always liked to read but now I can safely say I am obsessed. There is only one other series that has captured my heart so successfully, The Chronicles of Narnia. CS Lewis is totally classic and a complete genius and I love everything I have read by him. If you have not read The Chronicles of Narnia, do it.

Right now.

Done? Okay, good. Anyway, after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the seventh and final book, to all of those who have been living under a rock the past ten years) about a hundred times I kept thinking about how truly amazing this series is. JK Rowling is my hero. They way each book not only connects to the past but also foreshadows events that might be two books away. It is complete genius and I don’t know how she did it, but boy am I glad she did. I wish that more authors wrote like her.

The idea for this blog came when the first Deathly Hallows Trailer was released and Brandon and I were discussing how incredibly stoked we were. I was about half way through a couple different books when I decided they could wait until I reread all seven HP books. Those books are still strewn about our apartment today, bookmarks still in place, and I solemnly swear that one day I will return to them and finish each and every one. For now, HP is my priority. Right now I am on Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (book four) and truthfully, I am torn. Should I write a blog (actually probably more than one) for each book? I am not opposed to doing so. I’ll let you know. I am having a strong urge to give you my thoughts now about Goblet of Fire, but I will control them until I have decided how I am going to proceed from here.

Post number 2, check.

*yayas- a group of girls that, although born of different families, act like sisters.

My yayas are exceptional in every way. We might not always get along but we love each other all the same. I would be lost without them. They love HP just as much as I do :)

This is not a public diary...

I think the best way to write a successful blog post is to pick a topic and stick to it as much as you can. So for my fist *official* post on this bright, new, shiny blog the topic is… drum-roll puhlease…… BLOGGING. How clever am I?! You might ask yourself, ‘Who is this edgy, young, whipper-snapper that has turned this internet society on its head???’ Well I am…no one really, at least right now. I work as an office assistant at a hotel supply company and I am one bored individual (at least while I am at work). I am also dating the love of my life, Brandon, and am the mother of two fabulous boys, Monster Muttley the Australian Shepherd Mix and Oliver Jenkins the Boston Terrier (had you going for a second there, didn’t I? ;)) Now look at me here, not even following my own advice, I have countless posts to talk about Numero Uno, back to the blog about blogging.

I have started a few blogs in the past with the intent to let one post take me to the next and it be this magical journey through my thoughts and world. Well, that didn’t quite pan out. Let’s look back at my blogging history, which I am proud to say was primarily in the XANGA world, and find out why.

Xanga. I know you all know it (at least you do if you are in the 20 to 25 age range). I know many of you wish you didn’t. I myself went through a period of time where I loathed the thought of it so much that I actually went back and completely deleted myself from the database. Now, however I am pretty pissed with myself that I did. I was having one of those moments we all have in college where you wake up one day and KNOW you are different. You know that something has happened or been happening that has led you to this exact instance that you realize that you have out grown your high school self. This is all a load of bologna (I’ll talk more later about how I know this.) So I deleted my many Xangas because I wanted to erase the HighSchoolMe so none of my college or future friends would ever know what a love sick noob I was way back when (turns out I am still a love sick noob and super proud of it, thank you very much).

Since then I have attempted a few other blogs when the idea happened across my path but none ever stuck like the Xangas. I wondered why that is…Why had Xanga captured my attention so successfully? I know the main reason I got into blogging in the first place is because a friend of mine told me how “awesome” it was. My 15 year old self liked “awesome” things just as much as my current 23 year old self does so I threw caution to the wind. I came up with the coolest, most original, most thought provoking username (that I can not, even now reflecting back, allow myself to divulge to you). The name was stupid. I’m embarrassed that my mind allowed me to think it was even a remotely okay idea, but whatever. You live and you learn. A few months later after writing a new post almost everyday about nonsense (seriously it was basically a really embarrassing public diary, cool right?) I woke up and realized how dumb my current username was, so I started a new one with a new username that was equally as dumb as the first, but it was new and I was a little older so it was different and amazing. This routine repeated itself a couple thousand more times until MySpace came on the scene and suddenly Xanga was old news. That’s where my blogging pretty much died, until this moment when I obviously chose to revive it. I had a few sorry attempts in between that time and now but, nothing substantial enough to tell you about. The reason I am so mad at myself is I wish I had those intricate retellings of my life at that point. I feel like my memory is already failing and a large part of me really wishes I could look back on those, regardless of how sad or funny or embarrassing any of them were. But there is no way of getting them back now so, onward and upward.

I believe the reason those in between attempts were so futile is because I had no clear plan, which is weird because I ALWAYS have a plan. Lack of planning is my tippy-top pet peeve. Not having a plan freaks me out more than all bugs combined. I hatehatehate not having a plan. But for some reason this never translated to the blogosphere. I would just sit down, bored, and decide to write the most witty, entertaining post ever about…. anything. Obviously, a great idea. Most of the time I would start writing and, then I would look back to see where to go next and I would have a major WTF moment. What was I doing? None of this made any sense; in fact it was starting to resemble...a…public...diary…. “NOOOOOOO! This can’t be happening again!” I would think to myself. The post would be immediately deleted and I tried to never think of it again. So, why, after so many failed attempts, have I ventured back in to the blogging world?
A. I’m bored.
B. I have heard so many people that talk about their blogs that I have decided, if they can do it, damn it so can I.
And C. I have no idea what to do with my life and I am hoping by mulling over my thoughts I might be able to discern a path from them.

In short, this is something that will hopefully help me stumble upon a life plan, cure my day to day boredom and help keep the panic attacks from lack of a plan at bay for awhile. Also, I think I am way funnier than most people I know who blog so why shouldn’t I be awesome at this?

Well I think that is about all I have to say about blogging for right now. A part two might be coming soon but you never know. For now, I will just sit and decide what my next topic will be. Comments and critiques are welcome (not that I am very sure anyone is reading this).

Later days.